Boldness

I love everything about a New Year. I love everything about reassessing my life, creating new lists and feeling like I’m getting a fresh start.

2019 was pretty special to me because it was the year I was able to get back on track personally after the wildly emotional year I had in 2018. Honestly, I couldn’t be more proud of all that I was able to accomplish when it comes to the personal growth I had in 2019. 

For the first time in almost 2 1/2 years I finally feel confident in my own skin and somewhat clear on the direction and journey God is taking me on. I was only able to gain this clarity through pushing myself closer to God and ignoring the lies the enemy was constantly filling my head with over the past couple years.

For almost two years I listened to the lies that left me feeling depressed, lonely and feeling inadequate. I felt like I couldn’t open my mouth to even ask for help or understanding without feeling completely crazy.

It took a lot of prayer, declaration of deliverance and seeking natural help from a doctor to get me to a place of realizing that not only are these lies just lies, but that this it is a tactic used on not only me but tons of women everywhere.

But I can’t walk away from this experience with just my own personal healing. I’m determined to pull up as many as I possibly can with me. I’m determined to use my voice to allow the voice of God to be louder than the voice of the enemy so that we all will know that we are loved and have a purpose to pour so much into this world. 

If you know me though you I know I can quickly fall into my shell and block people out unintentionally. Don’t get me wrong, I tend to fall on more of the introvert spectrum of things and I love some good ole’ quiet time but too much of anything can be a bad thing. There’s definitely a fine line between getting in some time to reset and living in isolation out of fear and timidity. 

The word timidity was actually my focal point of deciding what my theme for 2020 would be. After a quick google search to find the exact definition of timidity I found that it means lack of courage or confidence. 

Not going to lie, when I first looked this up it kind of stung because as I mentioned before I felt like I was finally comfortable in my own skin, growing to love who I was and my role as a mama and a wife in this season. What I had to realize though was God has not called me to do life alone. I can’t stay in my shell because it’s something about having like minded people mentoring or pouring into you as you also pour into others that I know we’re all called to do. 

So I decided my theme for 2020 will be boldness. I will be bold in using my voice and sharing my story. This year I won’t live in fear because God has called me to live in power and love. He’s also given me a sound-mind so I will be at peace with every interaction He sends my way and I won’t hesitate to walk in the places He’s called me to. 

I’m utterly excited for what this year will bring. I’m sure we’ll have our fair share of curve balls thrown our way but I’m choosing now to rejoice in my confident hope.

XO

Michelle